Welcome!
I am so excited to share my ever-evolving journey of awakening with you. I offer two main types of guidance: guidance for spiritual seekers and guidance for conscious parents. That’s because I happen to be a dedicated spiritual endeavorist myself who also has 4 children. To give you a taste of how my style works, I’m going to share some perspectives that I incorporate in my life and work:
Life as we experience it is ultimately an illusion.
Through the law of attraction or the law of one, everything we experience within the illusion is giving us what we really need to raise our consciousness.
The point of the game is to realize what you really are. This is usually done through seeing what you are not, and shedding negative belief programming.
Since everything is here to help you awaken, there is nothing to actually be afraid of. That doesn’t mean we deny that we are experiencing fear; it means we hold space for our fear so we can see what is underneath it.
While there is work to be done, the point is to have fun. Paradoxically, the work unearths your joy.
...Still with me? Great! That means you probably resonate with these understandings and are my kind of people.
And in that case, let’s continue!
From these perspectives, all of our life circumstances, perceptions, thoughts and emotions are seen as our tailor-made oracle into self-discovery.
There is nothing wrong with you for experiencing seemingly negative circumstances or emotions, they don’t mean you aren’t spiritual enough or unworthy of love, they are your doorways into awakening. As we use tangible techniques for integrating these experiences, we are greeted with deeper levels of peace (our true nature).
It turns out, spirituality is quite simple; it's just a paradigm shift. The main paradigm shift is realizing that it’s not life’s circumstances that cause us pain, but the way we perceive them. Life is simply bringing up pain that is already within us and showing us where our healing is available. This usually looks like mirroring evidence of our limiting beliefs. When we begin to use the mirror to unravel our projected thinking, the world turns out to be our greatest teacher. While it may not always match the ego-image we think we want, it is giving us what we really need: a way to look at our thinking.
While anything is possible within an illusive dream-like reality, this style of spirituality is not necessarily about manifesting the car you think you want, getting a million dollars in your bank account, or waiting until you get x,y,z in order to feel worthy or spiritual enough. The “anything is possible” realization means that nothing is inherently static, and literally everything you see is a miracle because it is a manifested illusion. As quantum physics tells us, there’s nothing to it but empty space responding to our consciousness.
That means things can and will shift when they need to shift, but the key is to fully embrace what is. That’s because life is a mirror from our higher mind, and you want that mirror to show you exactly what you actually need to see. It’s not our job to dictate the reflection in the mirror, life takes care of that automatically. Our job is to work on our perception, then take aligned action from there. As our perception shifts, the mirror shifts.
One of the main techniques I use is getting in touch with our emotional guidance system. This is something we most likely were conditioned to disregard as a child because emotions were viewed as something uncomfortable that needed to be pushed away or made us unlovable and too much to handle. From my perspective, emotions are wise messengers that indicate when something needs to be processed, and how in or out of alignment we are with how higher-self sees things. I view suffering as an alarm bell for when we have lost our way in thought. These thoughts are typically resistant, fearful, and guilty patterns that make what is into a threat or a problem. When we are just a little bit willing to question these perceptions, we are often greeted with sweet relieving and clear guidance from our inner-teacher, and we begin the work of using the illusion for finding our healing.
Now, this doesn't mean that we shame ourselves for feeling negative emotion. It means that everything that we feel and experience is totally useful and meaningful. And in fact, the way to really get to the bottom of what we are feeling is to be fully available for it. Negative feelings do not mean you are unworthy or not spiritual enough, and they don’t mean that you are guilty of anything. Whatever you are experiencing now is absolutely what you need.
This is a journey into total self-acceptance. It is through unconditional acceptance that we have the space to witness our patterns and traumas without condemnation, and see that they are actually offering us gifts for self-awareness. You just need the space to fully feel what you are feeling and experience what you are experiencing. When we allow ourselves to be as we are, even triggers are our teachers. We do not need to be ashamed of having a trigger or a story, but instead see them as our allies in awakening.
While there is work to be done, we don’t actually have to go looking for our shadow in order to heal it. There is a much more fun and intuitive way to unearth the learning we need. The formula is to follow what is most interesting and meaningful to you as your indicator for where the relevant learning is, and to trust that what arises from that will show you what you need to see. It’s this delicate balance between listening to what lights you up but holding loosely to the form things take. When we are met with our attachment, we use our emotional reactions as our teachers for where our healing is available.
A key component to this is to not make preferences into problems or judgments. This can happen when instead of simply honoring what we seem to like and dislike, we project our happiness onto circumstances and become desperately attached to our preferences. Then when things inevitably don't go our way, we experience suffering. We make preferences into judgements when we make others wrong for not being as we think they should be rather than trusting the path of another and getting curious about what their reflection offers us.
Note: the purpose of this work is to get aligned with YOUR inner guide and to integrate all of the world you experience as your teacher. It is NOT to blindly adopt beliefs and perspectives because someone told you so. If anything at any time does not resonate, you should honor that.
I certainly do not have everything figured out, nor would I pretend to (how much pressure would that be!?) This style of spirituality is not about being a goddess or an always serene monk. I embrace my foolishly imperfect (yet somehow perfect) self and find this surrendering to be the most freeing, and paradoxically most efficient path home. What I am sharing here is not the end-all-be-all, but my ever-evolving journey of spirituality, and I deepen my understandings every day. I believe spirituality is like a spiral upwards where we revisit truths over and over and integrate them to a more fine-tuned degree. And it is my absolute passion to assist others in doing so.
You might be wondering; how does this have to do with parenting?
Well, these same laws of life also apply to children. From the parent’s perspective, we are moving through the illusion of separation as it pertains to the children projected in our life. That means we see our child literally as ourselves in seemingly another form. They are a gift from the higher mind bringing us what we really need. As a parent, our job first and foremost is to use our relationship with our child for raising our consciousness. That means the interactions we have and the big emotions we feel are for us to process first, not project onto our child. After we have done our processing and been led to our center, then we can get in touch with our wisdom versus our wounds and show up in service to our child.
But this does require a bit of trust. It’s trusting that our relationship is co-created from a level beyond form and everything that transpires between us is for our mutual benefit. I often call this style of parenting New Paradigm Parenting and that’s because what seems to be the traditional model of parenting here on Planet Earth involves shaping children into who adults think they should be in order to make the adult feel like a good parent. It means controlling a child’s behavior in order to make the adult more comfortable. It typically involves a lot of fear-based perspectives that motivate parents to push their child in certain directions based on survival or lack beliefs. And it typically means projecting any negative feelings or frustrations onto the child rather than looking within to find the source of our pain.
In contrast, New Paradigm Parenting trusts that children are much more than meets the eye and are deserving of the freedom to follow their unique path. That’s because the law of one or the law of attraction works for them as much as it works for adults. Don’t let the image of a tiny person fool you, they are Source beings playing the role of a child for us. The inspirations they are called towards are meaningful and hold the keys to their life path, and the inevitable challenges they come across from following these interests also hold valuable learning for them. Challenges are not viewed as something to be afraid of or something to shield our children from, but the intuitive curriculum from life that our child needs to learn what is meaningful to them. Our job is to raise our own consciousness so we can be the proper support they need.
All of my children are free self-directed learners, and I actually work at a Self-Directed K-12 school. In a nutshell, this means we let life show us our child’s curriculum rather than imposing an academic curriculum onto them. It doesn’t mean a child never uses an academic curriculum, it means the child leads the way and is given respect to choose what information resonates with them at this moment. While you do not have to practice self-directed education yourself in order to benefit from this coaching, it is not authentic for me to help parents find ways to coerce their children into performing better in traditional school. I usually find the system to be the problem, not the child’s behavior, and instead I offer ways to better address the child’s needs within a system.
That’s because the traditional model is based on the idea that we are human-doers rather than human-beings. A child's inner guidance is subdued and substituted with an external authority, and the pressure to perform outweighs what the child is actually feeling. This is totally backwards from the reason why we are even here in the first place. We are here to process and integrate our experiences; to use this illusion we find ourselves to awaken and raise our consciousness. In order to do that, we have to be with and honor what we are actually feeling, inspired towards, and challenged by. And there’s plenty there! There is no need to overcompensate and add more to what is actually present. Therein lies all the learning we need, we just have to learn to be attuned to it.
While it is our duty to learn how to respect children in the way they deserve, it is also our job to respect ourselves in relationship with children. While conscious parenting moves away from punishments and overarching control and into connection and guidance, it does not mean we become our child’s doormat. In fact, so much of the work is learning where our own personal boundaries are. And these boundaries, when held, teach our child that they can create the life they desire while allowing others to do the same, how to see from another’s perspective, and cultivate empathy. The difference is, this “teaching” happens naturally by listening to our own guidance and demonstrating respect for ourselves and others. It is not taught in the traditional sense through sitting children down and instilling information. While open conversations are welcome, this paradigm is all about allowing life to be the teacher. And that should come as a relief because the teaching and learning is more effortless.
What I share are practical tools that I incorporate in my own life for unlocking our inner freedom. I believe healing is our birthright. It is innate and effortless when we become adept with the tools. It doesn't even really require “doing” anything except being deeply with our own experience. This path to healing is filled with finding release like a breath of fresh air and seeing how our inner-connection breeds connection and harmony in our outer reflections as well, with our children, our partners, and our life circumstances. That doesn't mean life will magically turn picture perfect to the ego's eye. What it means is that our perception of what is shifts and we fall in love with what was always right in front of us. As you learn to process your experience to a deeper and deeper degree, you naturally become the person or parent you want to be.
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